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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Essential tips to become an Arab political leader

-Be the "son of" or "from the family of" (Ben, El, Ibn...). In this part of the world, whatever you do, you will always be judged according to your family roots.

-Have a family tragedy in hand, a story to tell, to raise compassion. A chain reaction story. Someone killed, followed by another... any kind of drama that can always pop up when needed. Everybody knows story telling pays.

-Spend some time in the army, or in a militia or guerrilla. Try to take part in an armed conflict, be it against an external enemy or an internal one. Better be in command if available. You can create the hero story people strive for.

-Following your "wars", make money. If you did not inherit your several generations money, your chances of political leadership are lessen, BUT, you can always get with the right people, and make the "right" business, wait few years, become a mogul, then attack politics. That's when you succeed.

-Do charity, do charity, do charity. Always give enough to keep people starving and coming back to you for help. And try to archive every step there. Have the press always next to you.

-Talking about press, be very generous with some of them. Choose carefully. Be creative. And they'll be at your feet. And if you face some stubborn journalist, have enough power to shut his/her mouth up.

-Flirt. With superpowers, with oil countries, with intelligence, with men, with women...Just flirt.

-Once in your dream place, in real power, keep the smile, but strengthen your place.

-Eradicate any antagonist.
-Set your laws. Your rules.
-Get married, have children quickly. Have a boy (preferable). Raise him to become your heir: tell him your family name history, your family drama, your family trauma, your heroic battles, your achievements, or just your money. Put him next to you during charity acts. During media interviews...
In other words, read above, copy and paste in your heir's head.

Then, don't forget to thank me :)