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Sunday, January 20, 2013

What to expect when you're expecting?

That awkward moment when you realize you expected too much for nothing!
I hate it when it happens.
Expecting is a killer.
Expecting love, care, respect, from people you love, care for and respect, and not getting it...
Expecting a kind act, a smile, a kiss, a call, a laugh, a hug, a pat, a word, a look, and not getting it.
Expecting understanding, empathy, presence, and not getting it.

Expecting comes from unmet needs. And we all have unmet needs. We expect good things from people we love, we expect bad things from people we fear. In the middle comes the non-expecting zone from people we don't care much for.

Expecting occurs when we think we deserve something as humans. It ends when we have no more faith or confidence. When we loose hope. Even then, a small act might awaken expectation back. And off we go with another expectation round, with all the hurt it brings.

"Don't expect anything from anyone" goes the quote. Easy to say, tricky to apply. Our human nature has needs, our human nature seeks love and respect. We are social creatures, we interact. We do so for a reason: we expect a mirror effect. We want the mirror effect. So, we expect. Then sometimes we reach disappointment. Disappointment comes from people we care most for.

But expectation has no balance, no logic. We expect a lot from others who sometimes can't reach our expectations, and we are disappointed. We expect from others as we see others. We put them in a position that is sometimes too high for them, or too difficult. We think it's easy for them to do, but that is just our way of seeing things, and our disappointment is related to our expectations, not their act.

Maybe we should remind ourselves that expecting doesn't mean getting. Expecting is an expression of our needs and dreams. Maybe, then, disappointment would lessen. Maybe then, the hurt would not be a killer. Maybe then, it would just be a hard moment we can overcome.
Maybe then, expecting wouldn't be closely attached to disappointment.

But again, wouldn't that affect the amount of love involved with expectation? Must we love less, care less, to expect less?

So, to answer the question "what to expect when you're expecting?" my own opinion would be: "when expectation is related to personal relations, expect hurt, expect disappointment. It comes as a package when needs and feelings of both persons or group of people, are not on the same wavelength."