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Sunday, January 8, 2012

Essential tips to become a popular Arabic TV broadcaster:



-Be sarcastic.
-Be arrogant.
-Be pessimistic.
-Be skeptical.
-Be pretentious.
-Be the star.
-Always bring the attention to you.
-Always interrupt your guest.
-Don’t listen to your guests’ message: they might influence your prejudice.
-Keep this word in mind: liars.
-Think of your next question when they are still giving you answers on the current one, you don’t need to know what they are saying.
-Pretend you’re interested, and right afterwards ask a very silly question: it destabilizes both guest and audience.
-Throw a joke when least needed.
-Raise your voice without shouting, enough to push a little more your guest towards loosing control, effect guaranteed.
-Play with your body: lean forward from time to time, everybody knows it means you’re concerned. And suddenly lean back, raise your chin and become distant. It means a lot.
-Raise the palm of your hand in front of your guest as for “enough garbage, now my turn to say the truth”.
-Bring two enemies face to face whenever you can, push them to the edge, admire your result and read the papers the next day: your show is the talk of the town! Yeah!
-Use technology to entertain yourself and prove once more that you rock: while your guest is talking, interrupt with a message you got on your BB, or Iphone, or on Skype, or Twitter, or Facebook (this way everybody will know how popular you are and how updated your station is).
-Always have a PC close and choose the worst moment to interrupt and read not so clever comments.
-Never let your guest finish an idea: no time for bullshit.
-Never agree with your guest on a point, always go against: effect guaranteed.
-Always remember: it’s your show, you’re the master, the leader, the God, guests are only here to prove it.
-Always jump from one subject to another BEFORE getting a clear idea. You have to cover all the questions you prepared, even if it means ending with an empty episode.
-Always ask a question, wait few seconds, and BAM! surprise everybody with a totally different question! huh?
-Be aggressive be aggressive be aggressive! Be pushy be pushy be pushy! Be mean be mean be mean!

...
Follow the tips, and you'll become  a leader, a master, a popular example to follow, in an aggressive and violent society just like you. Then you'll be sure to always have "issues" and "subjects" to feed your everlasting show.
And when you become a star, remember to thank me!

10 comments:

  1. :) They are just so...violent! and they set the trend! Thank you.

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  2. hahaha...what a great analysis for at least one of the most famous media stars who pretend to let the talk for "people" thus it is their "EGO IN SHOW".what a wonderful critical eye you got dear tanya...yallah publish..very interesting.
    sanaa

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  3. hahahaha! 100% Sanaa! love you! thank you for your beautiful comment! mwah!

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  4. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I'm quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
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  5. Thank you so much Freddie! It's so nice to meet you here, and thank you for your bookmark. I hope I'll be up to your expectations. All the best.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Gregory. Hope you found the sarcasm helpful ;)
      All the best.

      Delete
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  8. Thank you so much for your comment :)

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