Communication is an active and sensitive procedure. We take it for granted. IT ISN'T. Have a look on the 12 obstacles of communication below, and you'll be amazed how often we use these obstacles when communicating...especially with kids.
“Stop nagging .You have to get back to work”
It’s better for you to start studying, otherwise you’ll get a bad note.”
“It’s your fault if you can’t do it, you should leave your personal problems outside the school door”.
“If I was in your shoes, I’d organize myself differently to finish this homework on time.”
“Let’s look rationally to things. You only have one more month left for school. Your notes are average, and you have no time to loose if you want to succeed.”
Remark: when the student is not in a crisis situation, logic and argumentation are a precious help.
“You are very lazy and you always submit your work late.”
“You act like a 2 years old child. Who can tell you’ll be in X grade next year!”
“You’re trying to tell me stories just not to get done with your homework.”
“I know that usually you succeed. I’m sure you’re going to figure out how to get your homework done on time.”
Remark: the other can perceive a compliment as a twisted manner to obtain a precise attitude.
“When I was your age I had moments of depression too when I did not understand a lesson. You’ll see that if you decide to work it’s going to be better.”
Remark: reassuring a child in crisis may convince him that you know nothing about his problem.
“Why can’t you do it? How long have you already spent on this homework already? Is it so difficult? What can’t you understand?
Remark: if a child don’t understand why he’s being questioned, he might feel hunted. Questions using “why” might be perceived as inquisitor.
12-Avoid (deviate, steel the spotlight)
“Let’s talk about something else, I feel you’re not feeling good this morning.”
Remark: keeping silent or turning back to a conversation is an avoiding action too.